I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
