kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
