did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
