Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize