I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
