id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
