I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
