somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I wish you could order shots online.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
