I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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