then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
