CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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