I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
