I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I didn't notice because vodka
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
