I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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