i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
