He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Randomize
