Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
