real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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