Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize