I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
