Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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