R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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