Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
