Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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