I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
