you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We were destined to go to rehab together
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
