After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
