Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
