i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
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I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
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She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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