he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize