8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
