Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
