just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
