I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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