So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
