You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It's shark week go big or go home
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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