To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
But theres a keg here and me gusta
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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