dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have surprise drugs for everyone
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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