The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I could fuck to npr.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
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