Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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