Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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