you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
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