i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
