a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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