I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
why is half of my head shaved?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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