He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
