note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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