I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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