I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize