my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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