Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
