I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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