dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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