She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
