they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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