Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
