I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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