So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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