I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
