And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
